Getting a Coach That Is Right For You.

How To Pick an Effective Coach

How many times have you looked at a famous sports person, singer or celebrity and said to yourself, “I wish I could be like them.”

Or you may have wondered, “Why can’t I be as good as them?”

Then perhaps you beat yourself up by saying that you, “Just aren’t good enough,” or, “Do not have the talent.”

One thing that we don’t always do is realise that they didn’t become famous by themselves.

When you look at those famous sports people and celebrities, know that all of them have coaches, sometimes more than one.

This means for you that if you want to accelerate your success in any endeavour, then get a Coach.

These days there are coaches for everything so you know you can get one.

And coaching fields range from specific, narrow skill sets to broad life changing personal development.

However, all coaches are not created equal.

Just getting a coach will certainly accelerate your progress, particularly if you are locked into the concepts of goal setting, financial targets etc.

However, if you want to achieve a balanced, successful life, then there are some criteria that you need to apply to choose the coach that will be right for you.

Choosing your Coach:

When you are picking a coach, there are some guidelines that will make your choice of a coach, the most effective one for you, and also, make the experience effective, valuable, and useful.

-Their Character:

The character of anyone is always based on their values.

Either their Operating values or their Core values.

And there are at least 3 Core values that will be present in an effective coach.

The Number 1 value, above all, that you are looking for, is “Integrity.”

In this context, Integrity means that, “They always do what they say they are going to do!”

Next, you are looking for the value, “Caring.”

i.e. This Caring needs to be only for you and has to be another core value.

Thus a coach who says they will coach anyone in anything, is often operating from caring about themselves, rather than caring about you.

And the third core value you are looking for, is “Health.”

If the coach has Health as a core value, they will radiate Vitality.


Since coaching can have a deeply personal effect, you need to be confident in your choice and referral by some one that you know and trust, is a great help in this direction.

This doesn’t mean that this coach will be a true match for you, but it does mean that they have most of the values and characteristics that would make an effective coach for you.


Often you may only hear about a coach and so your next step would be to examine the Testimonials provided.

When you read these testimonials, ask yourself:

“Does this ring true?”

“Are these the sort of results I am looking for?”

“Is this testimonial about the character of the coach?”

“Does this resonate with me?”


An effective coach will have a great deal of experience in your field.

This is different to knowledge so check that the experience is relevant.

For example, it’s no good asking somebody with financial experience to coach you in personal relationships.

And if you are seeking a personal transformational coach, somebody whose experience is in the sporting arena, will most likely, not be the most effective.

For transformational coaches, you will need someone with extensive experience in personal development, and for the tennis coach, you would seek someone with extensive experience in playing and coaching tennis.

In addition to the above, there are a number of behaviours, traits, and attitudes that you need to note as being present.

An effective coach will:

-Teach independence:

This means that any coach that encourages dependency on them, will not allow you to develop fully as an individual.

From a coach’s point of view this can be a seduction, since if the client becomes dependent on the coach, it ensures long term business.

-Not tell you what to do:

A lot of inexperienced coaches will fall for the trap of telling their clients what to do.

This arises from the client knowing, “What the client should do is pretty obvious to them (the coach)” and because they care, they want the client to get the message.

Unfortunately, all that happens is that the coach substitutes for the previous authority figures in the client’s life, and growth will not occur.

And once the habit of telling is established, the client starts to wait to be told what to do.

-Not provide solutions:

This is in line with “Telling.”

The coach’s job to assist the client in discovering solutions for themselves which increases their problem solving skills which they can apply widely.

Incidentally, the client will also take ownership of the solutions and therefore make more effective decisions.

-Be experiential:

This type of coaching is particularly suited for transformational coaching, where change is created “In the moment,” and is sustainable.

-Not provide extensive hand outs:

Coaching is much more than a simple information flow.

Coaching is guiding the client to see within (insight) so that they can see what is happening, and they themselves will make the change that they desire.

This process is unique between the coach and client and therefore cannot be prescribed.

-Not give dishonest answers:

Nor will they always accept the clients apparent story as being necessarily accurate.

The client normally has a great story to justify their current situation.

So the job of the coach is to perceive exactly what is going on and then guide the client to see that.

Then, and only then, will sustainable change occur.

-Always be honest:

The coach is not there to give answers that the client wants to hear.

That just reinforces the construct that the client has developed.

-Always be kind:

Whilst the coach will not always accept the clients version of events, they will always be kind with their guidance..

The client has a valid interpretation of their story and it is not up to the coach, to make them “wrong.” The coach is there to guide the client in a kind and caring way to discover their real truth.

-Insist on Confidentiality:

In the coaching process an effective coach will share deeply personal stories, in order to give permission for the client to do the same.

It is important that both feel safe to do so, and this comes with insistence of absolute confidentiality from the start.

Beware the coach that gives details of existing clients.

-Provide opportunities for personal growth:

Whatever the field that the client is operating in, to change results they must change themselves within, even if it is only at the level of thinking.

This is personal growth, and an effective coach considers and takes this a huge responsibility to bear.

-Guarantee results, unconditionally:

There is no point employing a coach if they are unable to help you achieve, a defined result.

Therefore an effective coach will give a 100% , unconditional money back guarantee of satisfaction, no questions asked.

-Like you:

In getting to meet potential coaches, you will be looking out for the all the previous values, characteristic etc.

(To know how to find these out, please contact me)

At the end, you will need to “like” the person.

This goes both ways.

Effective coaches can only work at a personal level, if they like their client, and vice versa.

I know that some coaches will disagree with this because they use “goading” techniques, but that form of coaching is only appropriate in certain circumstances.



As I said at the beginning, to create change in yourself, is always possible as you are doing it every day.

Simply reading a book makes a difference to your thinking.

Attending a seminar helps you explore new ideas.

And when you bring a one to one coach into your life, a dramatic acceleration in the areas that are important to you (Health, Finance, Relationships) takes place.

And if you are only on this planet once, wouldn’t it be good to increase your enjoyment and impact of your journey?


Roger Bourne


 By the way.

If you are currently dissatisfied with your career, Check out:

 Change careers safely and successfully




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